Buffy vs Ash
by Hunterzilla
Summary: Season 1-Episode 5: In this Deadliest Warrior match, Buffy Summers, will face off against Ashley J. Williams. Who will be, the Deadliest Warrior?
1. Chapter 1

Buffy Summers: The Slayer, destined to fight the vampires and demons of her world.

Ashley J. Williams: An ordinary man turned chosen one, who battles deadites, and demons on a daily basis.

Who Is Deadliest?

To find out, our crew and horror experts will test some of cinema's most psychotic weapons. We'll see what happens, when two warriors, go toe to toe. No rules, no safety, no mercy. It will be a battle to the death to decide who is the deadliest warrior.

In the fight club, we are getting ready for a fight between two chosen ones destined to defeat evil. Buffy Summers, the Slayer; and Ashley J. Williams, the Chosen One. To find out who is deadliest, we will bring in a team of experts.

Scientist, Geoff Desmoulin, will collect the injury data.

Geoff: I will be able to tell you from measurements whether or not a blow would fracture a skull or break a rib.

E.R. physician, Armand Dorian, will analyze the injuries each fighter delivers.

Armand: Some of the weapons today look like they can do some major damage. I can't wait to see what kind of punishment they can deliver.

Computer whiz, Max Geiger, will record the results of the weapons tests, and input them into a simulator, developed by Slitherine Studios.

Max: This is a battle between two people who were destined to kill the demons and villians of their worlds. Buffy is a powerful Slayer, who kills vampires and demons. Ashley J. Williams, A.K.A. Ash, kills deadites and demons. Both are experts at what they do. This will be a very interesting battle.

The computer will then process the information to determine the victor in a true to life fight between Buffy and Ash to determine who is the Deadliest Warrior?

Our experts are greeted by the team representing our competitors.

Bruce Campbell, the only person to play Ash in the movies, will be representing Ash in this fight.

Bruce Campbell: I can't wait for this battle. Ash will no only win, but own this fight.

With him is Sam Raimi, who directed the original Evil Dead movies and Army of Darkness.

Sam Raimi: To Ash, Buffy will just be like a deadite. Simple as that, he will win this fight.

Ashley J. Williams was just an ordinary man who went to a cabin with his girlfriend. However, after reading the pages of the book, evil spirits were awaken. After that Ash changed, becoming the wise mouthed, boomstick wielding hero we all know and love. Later he went back in time and found out he is the Chosen One, meant to defeat the Necronomicon.

While the Ash team is confident, our Buffy team believes they will be taking the victory.

Enter Sarah Michelle Gellar, the actor who played Buffy in the TV series.

Sarah Michelle Gellar: Buffy is a tough woman. She has been training to kill vampires. Ash is just an ordinary guy.

With her is Joss Whedon, the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Joss Whedon: Buffy will not be brought down by some regular guy. She has fough demons, and a god. She can take down Ash with ease.

Buffy Summers is the Slayer, destined to kill the vampires and the demons of her world. She has battle demons, vampires, and more. She also tries to live a normal life while doing so, but has accepted the fact that she will always be abnormal in some ways. She will do what it takes to save the day.

Both warriors will bring their own arsenal.

Buffy comes with: The Slayer Scythe, stake, crossbow, wooden spear, and the dagger.

Ash has with him: The Boomstick, Winchester 1892, chainsaw, metal hand, and the axe.

The first weapons we will be testing is the short ranged weapons. The Buffy team will start with their dagger.

This weapon will be tested on a dead pig carcass.

Geoff: This pig carcass has about the same resistance as human skin. This is the most accurate we can get.

Sarah Michelle Gellar will wield this weapon.

Max: Sarah, are you ready.

Sarah: Ready.

Max: In 3...2...1...go.

Sarah lunges at the carcass, stabbing it in the chest. She then stabbed it again. She then dragged down the blade, opening up a huge wound. She then cuts away at the flesh. She finishes with one final slash.

Geoff: And stop.

Armand: Well, you have hit several vital organs, and you made a huge gaping wound. This is definetly a deadly weapon.

Sarah: Especially in the hands of Buffy.

The other team is then shown the weapon results.

Bruce: That weapon won't do you much good after I saw your hand off.

Joss Whedon: That's not our only weapon.

Sam Raimi: Bring it on, Ash can take it.

Next time on Deadliest Warrior, Buffy brings out one of her iconic weapons, the stake.


	2. Chapter 2

Last time on Deadliest Warrior, the Buffy team tested out their dagger, proving that it was a deadly weapon.

Now, Buffy is ready to bring out another of her weapons, the stake. The weapon Buffy regularly uses to kill vampires.

Joss Whedon will be wielding this weapon, and the target will be a gel torso.

Armand: Joss are you ready?

Joss: Ready.

Max: In 3...2...1...go.

Joss rams the stake into the gel's heart. He then drives the stake down into the gel torso's head. Joss stabs the torso dead center in the chest, causing blood to gush into the wound. It flew into his face, causing him to whip his head back, trying not to get it on his face. He then thrust forward, stabbing the face. He then lowers the stake.

Geoff: Stop.

Armand: Ok, well first off, I'm not sure you want to close your eyes and turn away from the target, that usually isn't a good idea.

Joss: Well, I didn't want blood on my face.

Armand: Also, your first strike is a kill shot, considering you stabbed him right in the heart. Then you punctured the skull with your second shot. You followed up with a stab to the chest, which is when you closed your eyes. Then you stabbed the face. All in all, this is a deadly weapon, each shot is a death blow.

Joss: Not only that, but imagine this tool in the hands of Buffy, with her increased strength.

Max: Yeah I'm going to have to make some tweaks to the sim in order to put this data in.

The other team is then shown the data, but don't seem worried.

Sam Raimi: Well the problem with this weapon is that it was made to kill vampires, not Ash. He will see this coming a mile away.

Joss: You really think he's going to survive a stab to the heart...cause I don't.

Bruce: You'll never even touch us.

Sarah: I don't think you can dodge it.

Bruce: Well we have a whole arsenal to bring out so don't get your hopes up yet.

The Ash team brings out their own short ranged weapon, the metal hand. After his hand was possesed, Ash cut it off, and replaced it with a metal hand.

Sam: This is an exact replica of the metal hand that we used in Army of Darkness.

Max: So what can it do?

Sam: Well, in the movie it crushed a metal goblet easily. So we put in that data, and made this glove. It should be an accurate substitute for the one in the movie.

Geoff: So how will you test this weapon.

Bruce: Well, we have hydraulics in it to simulate what it can do. We are going try out how powerful it's grip is first.

Geoff: Well we have a gel torso over there, let's try it out.

Bruce will wield this weapon.

Max: Bruce are you ready?

Bruce: Ready as I will ever be.

Armand: Ok. In 3...2...1...go.

Bruce grabbs the gel torso's throat, and begins to squeeze. The hydraulics do their work, and in two seconds the head pops off. The head lands on the ground, with blood spurting from the neck.

Geoff: Stop.

Armand: Wow, I did not see that coming. You literally squeezed his head until it fell off. And in a clocked in time of two seconds.

Bruce: And that's not all. We still have to test the punching power of this weapon.

Another gel torso is brough out to be tested on once again by Bruce Campbell.

Geoff: Are you ready?

Bruce: Ready.

Max: In 3...2...1...go.

Bruce punches the face, knocking it back. He punches again, this time causing a dent. He punches again, and the head is knocked back again.

Armand: And stop.

Geoff: The force on that reading was huge. You are creating a lot of blood force trauma. It is basically a death blow.

The other team is then shown the results.

Sarah: That's it. It's just a metal hand.

Bruce: Yeah, a metal hand that can crush your skull in two seconds.

Sam: This weapon will break Buffy.

Joss: I don't see that happening.

While the teams debate over which team get's the edge, our experts also seem to be having a tough time.

Armand: I'm going with the metal hand. Not only is it an impressive piece of work, but it is actually deadly.

Max: I have to disagree. Buffy has options with the stake and the dagger.

Geoff: I agree with Max here, Buffy has the advantage.

Armand: So edge dagger and stake.

Geoff: Edge dagger and stake.

The edge for short ranged weapons goes to Buffy with the dagger and stake.

Next time, both contenders bring out their mid ranged weapons. Who will be the deadliest warrior?


	3. Chapter 3

On Deadliest Warrior, our teams tested their short ranged weapons, with Buffy getting the advantage.

But now it is time for the next test, with both teams unleashing their mid range weapons. Buffy will start with, the wooden spear.

Sarah: Guys, this is the wooden spear.

Max: I'm guessing it acts a lot like the stake.

Sarah: Yep, except it can kill a vampire from a longer distance.

Geoff: Ok, we have a gel dead pig at the ready.

Sarah: Alright let's do this.

Sarah will wield the weapon.

Armand: Are you ready Sarah?

Sarah: Yes.

Armand: In 3...2...1...go.

Sarah stabs the pig, going into the ribcage. She then swings it, making a cut. She stabs again, going into the pig's stomach. She then stabs again, right into the chest.

Armand: And stop.

Armand: Well, your first blow collapsed a lung and punctured the spine. Your swing cut through muscle, and your last few stabs went into the pig hitting more organs.

Sarah: Yeah well this is a dangerous tool in the hands of an expert.

Geoff: Agreed.

The other team is shown the results.

Sam: What a nice weapon, a stick

Joss: Well this stick just skewered a pig.

Bruce: An unmoving opponent is a lot different than Ash.

Sarah: Not to Buffy.

Sam: Well now we bring out the chainsaw.

The chainsaw. One of Ash's signature weapons, it is a deadly tool.

Sam: This is the chainsaw, one of Ash's most iconic and deadly weapons. It was used to replace his right hand.

Max: How would Ash use this?

Bruce: He would either just swing it with his arm, or he would hold the handle with his other hand to make a more powerful swing.

Sam will wield this weapon against a dead pig carcass.

Max: Are you ready Sam?

Sam: Ready.

Geoff: In 3...2...1...go!

Sam swings the chainsaw, sawing into the pig. It cuts into the pig. He then stabs it, tearing through bone and severing the spine. He then cuts the pig in half with one last swing.

Geoff: Stop.

Armand: Well there is not much to say, you severed his spine and took lots of flesh of of him. Plus you cut him in half.

Bruce: Well that's how the chainsaw works. It made short work of this pig and it will make shorter work of Buffy.

The other team is then shown the results, but seem to not care.

Sarah: I don't see how you will ever even touch us with that, seeing how slow it is.

Bruce: Well, if we get you even a little, you'll notice.

Joss: You'll never even hit us, we'll be seeing this coming.

Sam: I'd like to see that happen.

Meanwhile our experts seem to disagree.

Max: I think it goes to the chainsaw.

Geoff: I agree, it should got to the chainsaw

Armand: I'm not sure, I thought the wooden spear was pretty deadly. But I'm out voted so I guess the edge goes to the chainsaw.

The edge for mid range weapons goes to Ash with the chainsaw.

Next, the teams compare their special weapons, who will be the deadliest warrior?


	4. Chapter 4

Last time, both teams tested their mid range weapons, with Ash getting the edge.

Now our teams bring out their special weapons.

The axe, a weapon used by Ash to hack deadite's to pieces.

Sam: This is the axe. Ash used it once, but once is enough, seeing how he chopped a deadite with it.

Geoff: Nice. Ok, we have a group target outside. You'll be using that weapon to elimanate them.

Sam: Alright let's go.

Wielding this weapon with be Sam Raimi, with the target being a staged attack of gel torso. This test will take place outside.

Max: Ok Sam are you ready?

Sam: Ready.

Geoff: In 3...2...1...swing away!

Sam hacks down one target, bringing it down to the ground. He then hacks down another target. The last one he slashes.

Max: And stop!

The experts go to look at the extent of the damage.

Armand: Well the first you managed to chop him down to size. However, your second one is walking away with a large scar. It will hurt him, but he's walking away. And lastly, this guy not walking away. You chopped off his head.

The other team then looks at the results.

Sarah: Well, that weapon doesn't look all that effective.

Joss: Yeah especially for what we have in store for you.

Bruce: Maybe so, but his isn't our only weapon.

Sam: Bring it on, we're still going to win this battle.

The Slayer Scythe. Buffy's signature weapon, it can slice, and chop, and stab.

Sarah: This weapon has been wielded by past slayers, each

The target's are ready, with Sarah wielding the weapon.

Max: Are you ready Sarah?

Sarah: Yep.

Max: Ok, in 3...2...1...go.

Sarah swings, decapitating the target. She slashes at the other, cutting all the way into his abdomen. She then stabs the last target in the heart.

Max: And stop.

Geoff: Well, I'd say these guy's are dead.

Armand: Indeed. Each of these is a kill shot.

The other team is then shown the results.

Bruce: What's that, just an axe with more style.

Sarah: Well it did a heck of a lot better than yours.

While the Ash team tries to defend their weapon, the experts all agree who wins this round.

Max: The scythe is the obvious winner here.

Armand: Agreed.

Geoff: Edge Slayer Scythe.

The edge in special weapons goes to Buffy the Vamire Slayer, with the Slayer Scythe.

Next up, the final test of the long range weapons.


	5. Chapter 5

Max: The results are in; it's now time to find out who is the deadliest Warrior.

(Max clicks one of the buttons on the keyboard)

(Scenario: Ash cut down the deadite with his chainsaw, and finally decapitated it. He the walked over and grabbed the book. He then read the Necronomicon-Ex Mortis. Suddenly a portal opened up. Ash tried as hard as he could to resist, but the portal was to strong, and it sucked him righ in it. Meanwhile, Buffy had finished off another vampire. The battle had dragged out into a forest. She was about to walk off when suddenly a portal appeared. She took cover behind a tree. A man fell out of the portal and he was armed.)

Ash fell out of the portal. He slowly got back up. He looked around wondering where he was. Then he noticed that he no longer had the Necronomicon.

"Damn it, where the hell did that demonic book go?" Ash said to himself.

"Demonic book?" thought Buffy. She didn't know who this person was, but he didn't sound like a good guy.

"Hey!" shouted Buffy. Ash whipped around, taking out the Boomstick.

"Whoa, who are you supposed to be?" asked Ash.

"I'm Buffy, now please put down the shotgun, before I have to take it from you." said Buffy.

"Sorry She-Bitch, no one takes my Boomstick. Plus how would you plan on taking the gun away from me?" asked Ash with a grin on his face.

"Like this," replied Buffy. She crounched down and did a back roundhouse kick, knocking the gun out of Ash's hands. As she came back around she kicked him in the face.

Ash stumbled back, and whipped out his Winchester. He opened fire, grazing Buffy. She then quickly ran deeper into the woods.

Ash ran after her and picking up the Boomstick. But stumbled along the way, getting hit by branches.

Eventually he reached a clearing.

"Ok, where did you go she-bitch?" said Ash.

"Right behind you," answered Buffy. She took out her wooden spear and knocked the Winchester out of Ash's hands. Then she lunged at Ash. Ash spun around to face Buffy, and was stabbed in the waist.

In retaliation Ash punched Buffy back handed Buffy with his metal hand, knocking her aside. Meanwhile Ash grabbed his axe.

Ash swung the blade, but Buffy rolled aside. Ash brought the axe down once more, but Buffy blocked it with the wooden spear. She then pushed back, pushing Ash back against a tree.

Once there, She stunned him by butting his head with the shaft of the weapon. She then spun around, slashing the wooden spear across Ash, cutting him.

Ash responded by releasing a powerful kick to Buffy's gut, sending her rolling to down. Ash then brought the axe down, but Buffy rolled aside. Ash then swung again as Buffy was getting up, and cut her in the abdomen.

In response Buffy lunged forward with the spear, but Ash cought it with the curve of the axe. However, Buffy began to spin the weapons around. Eventually, the axe flew out of Ash's grasp, and Buffy croutched down, and stabbed him in the leg.

Ash elbowed Buffy in the back causing her to fall lower. He then kneed her in the ribs, stunning her. He then upper cut Buffy, sending her back to the ground rolling. Ash then atteneded to his leg, looking away from Buffy.

When he looked back up he saw that Buffy was gone, and so was the spear. But there was a trail of blood.

"Damn, why won't his primitive screw-head just stay down?" asked Ash. He then ran after her.

Meanwhile Buffy was running off, trying to think of a strategy. She then looked up and saw a rather tall tree. She then got her idea.

Ash continued running, but suddenly the blood trail ceased. He then looked around, wondering where she had gone.

Meanwhile, Buffy moved down loading her crossbow. That's when she accidently stepped on a leaf.

"Shit!" whispered Buffy.

Ash turned around and saw Buffy in the tree. Buffy then quickly fired the crossbow, but sense Ash had seen her, he was successful in getting out of the way. As Ash came back up he took out his Boomstick.

He aimed and fired. Do to the small range of the gun, it didn't hit Buffy, but it did break the branch she had been crouching on.

Buffy fell down to the ground, hard. Buffy then slowly got back up dazed.

At the same time, Ash started up his chainsaw.

Buffy turned around, only to jump back, dodging a swing from Ash's chainsaw. Buffy then was cut by Ash's chainsaw in the arm while attempting to dodge the blow. Buffy then dodged the chainsaw again, and grabbing the wooden spear.

She thrusted it forward, aiming for Ash's gut. But he quickly ran his chainsaw through the weapon, cutting it in half. Ash then kicked Buffy to the ground, who landed on her injured arm.

Buffy however had no time to think about it as she rolled away from another swing of the chainsaw. As she came back up she took out her stake. She rammed it into Ash's waist, but it wasn't a fatal blow.

However it did stun him, giving her enough time to grab her Slayer Scythe. She swung this weapon, cutting Ash's shoulder. Ash then swung his weapon, only for Buffy to block it with the scythe.

Sparks flew from the impact of the two weapons clashing. Buffy then shoved Ash back, and stabbed with the weapon this time, piercing Ash's leg. Ash then in retaliation grabbed Buffy by the collar and headbut her, stunning her.

He then swung the chainsaw again, wounding Buffy. Ash lunged forward with the chainsaw once more, but had it ripped from his grip when Buffy parried the blow.

She brought down the Slayer Scythe, trying to split his skull in two. But Ash ducked down and grabbed her wrist with his left hand. He then punched her elbow, splitting her arm and breaking it.

Buffy screamed, but was silenced when Ash grabbed her by the throat with his metallic hand. He then began to squeeze the life out of her.

Buffy then reached for one of her weapons, and found her dagger. She drove the dagger into his arm, causing him to shout out in pain and let her go. She then slashed his abdomen and his leg.

He then punched her in the face and took out his Boomstick. However before he fired Buffy got the scythe and swung it, hitting the barell, and causing the shot to miss. Buffy then kicked him to the ground.

He however, kicked her in the face, sending her back stunned.

Meanwhile he grabbed his chainsaw and started it. Buffy charged Ash, bringing down the scythe. However, Ash turned around and rammed his chainsaw into Buffy's chest, with blood whipped into his face.

He then ranked it out of her and she fell back. However she twitched a little, showing some sign of life. He then grabbed the Boomstick.

"Swallow this," he said. He then fired, blowing off her face.

"Hail to the king baby."

WINNER: ASHLEY J. WILLIAMS

Max: When I ran the battle a thousand times, Ash won 545 times, compared to Buffy's 455 times. This was due to the fact that Ash had firearms on his side.

**Ash**

**Chainsaw: 123**

**Metal Hand: 78**

**Winchester: 154**

**Boomstick: 156**

**Axe: 34**

**Buffy**

**Slayer Scythe: 131**

**Crossbow: 134**

**Dagger: 94**

**Stake: 46**

**Wooden Spear: 50**

Bruce: I never doubted Ash. He's the king.

Sarah: Well Buffy gave Ash a good fight, that's all I can say.

Sam: This proves that Ash is and always will be the deadliest warrior.


	6. Next Time On Deadliest Warrior

Next time on Deadliest Warrior, Robocop faces off against the Terminator. It's the last episode of the season. Who will be the Deadliest Warrior?


End file.
